What a great evening

Well. It's been a few days since my last post, so some stuff has happened. Went to see the Hero Factor at the Full Moon, where I had a waiter hit on me, and pass me a note on a napkin. Thats something that was a first. Flattering, of course. Then, there was yesterday. It was great fun. I miss Tara and Alissa and all. Having my brothers friends hit on me... lol Anyhow. bruscetta at 3am is awesome. I'm still recovering from it all. Great fun into the wee hours. Then biscuits and gravy this morning, wait, that was my dinner. oh, my sleep schedule is all messed up. hooray....

so, apparently my blog is more read than i have thought, and taken more seriously. Just a disclaimer, there are certain things that I keep personal, esp between friends. I only write stuff on here, that I can't get thru to people, I want to joke about, or just when I'm babbling, which is most of the time. So, please, don't take things to heart necissarily... I don't mean them like that always.

But anyway.
It was a good night, once again, and a good day, and I hope to see Tara again soon, cause I don't see her nearly enough, and shes just so shockable, and fun. She cracks me up.

Well, its Oscar time, and soon, it will be Ben time again at the Full Moon. Hope to see you all there!

Drama drama drama

I have no idea how I manage to get in the middle of people's drama. Especially high school drama. I mean, I KNOW that I'm immature, I know that I'm only 21, how is it that 19 year olds are unable to know that they, too, are immature. I mean really. And suddenly I'm the all knowing Marni with all the answers and all the wisdom. Its flattering, and yet worrisome that someone thinks of me in that way. Whatever. And one of the best friends I've ever had is still not speaking to me. Apparently I'm not getting the point that she doesn't want to be friends with me anymore, and apparently she's not getting the point that I'm here, and will always be here for her, whether she likes it or not. And thats that. Oh well...

Can you say "animal magnetism"?

So, worked out again today. Two miles today, but it was in the middle of the day, so there was no frat-boy-basketball going on. Not that that matters, it just always brings up stories. And as Marni says, "all your stories are the same, they are just different names, and different places, but its the same basic story." I need to get me some new stories. And lessons in English grammar apparently too.
Had a test too, we won't discuss that.
Discovered I have yet ANOTHER doc appointment tomorrow morning... ::sigh:: You'd think they'd have figured out I'm irreversibly screwed up by now and just decided to leave me alone. Whatever. Then after a long nap, and being able to fit into my jeans again (yay!) I watched Friends and hung out with Meg. We watched About a Boy, and forced Nomar to take pills, which was quite the ordeal, almost worse than when Jackson needs a bath.
Marni and I went to store, I was a bit manic again, and the people at Reasor's definitely thought I was on something. Here's where the "animal magnetism" comes into play. At least two guys hit on us again.... I don't know what the deal is, but every time we go anywhere, this same thing seems to happen. ::sigh:: whatever. So now, its time for me to write a paper. I will bid you all ado, and tell you to think about this: This woman played the part of Satan in the recent movie... hm.... I'm kind of offended that she/he is so pale... ::sigh::

"It is as it was..." - Pope John Paul II after seeing The Passion of the Christ

I just got back from seeing The Passion of the Christ. Wow, that movie hit me hard. I started the evening a bit manicky... Talking and talking and talking, as well as annoying my brother and Marni like mad... oops. So, we went into the movie, and let me tell you, it was amazing. By the end I was bawling, I mean, I knew it was going to get to me, but wow. The woman next to me was crying thru the entire film. It made me think... I think that for Lent I'm going to read the bible... We'll see how that goes. It hit me somewhere, I just don't know how to describe it.

Anyway, I talked to a friend today, and I'm glad I got to, cause I hate leaving things just sitting. So that lifted a huge weight off my chest. My day all in all was pretty good. I kinda messed up the soup, too many noodles. Went to mass, got to talk to a lot of people I haven't talked to in a long time. That was loads of fun. And in my class we got to watch part of Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring and compared it to theology, Christ, original sin, etc. Well, it was interesting anyway.
Also watched American Idol, and yay! once again, my choice was in the top 3, actually, the top two. Ok, well, now I'm jut rambling. Gotta go eat, and study for a test tomorrow, oh, and sleep at some point.

This Just In...

So, Marnio has been sitting here talking to me... and she has the GALL to say, "I should've gone to the University of Montana". Can you believe it?!?!?!?! I told her she never would have met the best friend in THE WORLD!!!! I told her my aura pulled her here. I can't imagine my life without her - that would just suck, she's one of the only ones whos stuck beside me, even if its only been for a year and a half. She has gone out of her way to get to know me, the real me, and she's one of the most amazing people I've ever met. I thank God she heard my silent plea (lol) and came to TU....

I should work at EB Games

So, updating the blog again. Not much exciting has been going on around here. I'm going to see the Passion tomorrow, and I'm stoked. I know its going to be emotional and very passionate (no pun intended), but I'm ready for that right now. I dyed my hair the other day, it was time for a change. I've also started working out on a daily basis, I only got 2 miles done today, but hey, thats better than nothing. I'm working for abs of steel by the summer, so today was abs day as well. And I got to watch American Idol and the Real World with Marni, Nick, and Sean, which was way fun. plus we played 1080 Avalanche.

Which reminds me... We went to EB Games to trade in Bustin' Out cause I beat it and its too "high maintence" for Marni... lol So, we were there for about 1-2 hours, and in that time, at least 4 guys hit on us. Thinking it was just soooo cute that we were both named Marni, and sooooo cool that we loved video games, and knew more about them than they did. So, we ended up with 1080 Avalanche, Meteroid Zero Factor, and 3 demos, including one for the new Jet Li game. But it is rather weird when there are high schoolers hitting on you, this seems to be happening to me alot lately... hmmm.

I went to my orthopedist yesterday, and he says I'm not out of the woods yet, but from what he sees as of now, I don't need surgery, which is very good news. I do have to go back in 6 weeks and get aNOTHer X-ray to see how its going. I've also talked to some docs, and may be part of a study of people with bipolar disorder. I'm kind of excited, I've never been part of a study, so, maybe it'll be fun, or maybe they'll publish something about me, whatever. Okay, time to clean, and get ready for bed. Night all...

Anyone even give a s*** anymore?

So, I haven't updated my blog in forever, and I figure now is as good a time as any. My life has been in a whirwind lately. I had friends break some news to me about the guy I'd loved more than anyone before. It was hard for me to take, and I tried to figure it all out, but I have no idea what's up and what's down in that relationship anymore. When I went to see him, we supposedly "got back together," but I didn't feel that anything was settled, and I didn't feel that we were back together at all, we'd just taken a step closer. During all this, my father had to go to the hospital for heart issues, which was also very hard for me to deal with.
Suddenly, I couldn't get ahold of my supposed "boyfriend" or one of my best friends. And no one felt the need to tell me that they were no longer talking to me, or that we were no longer friends. And then, on top of all this, I was forced to move....
I thought nothing could be worse than last semester, I was wrong. Luckily, Jackson came into my life due to all this, and I still have the one person whos been there for me thru all of this. She looks out for me, and my wellbeing. She takes care of me better than anyone has, and I'm so thankful for that. Also, two of the best friends I ever had since I've been in Tulsa have gotten closer to me, and I'd missed them so much. I'm so glad to have them, its obvious how much they care for me, and it makes such a difference in my life.

So, in conclusion to all this....

I miss my friends... I don't know what I did to deserve what it is I'm going thru, but I'll be here for them if they need me, cause despite what they may think, I care for them a great deal, and if whats best for them is to be away from me for a bit, then I'll just take it in stride.

I'm upset about what happened with my ex... as for him dumping me? I didn't realize we were still together. I just wish we could still be friends, he meant alot to me, and its not a relationship I just want to write off and forget about.

Jackson is a godsend... He brings little bits of joy into my life everyday.

Those who care about me will be there for me, no matter what, I love them, and I thank God everyday for allowing me to have them in my life.